Hot Mess with M.S.
Welcome to my Hot Mess with M.S. Life!
They say you don't really know about MS until you KNOW about MS, am I right?? I've been married to my high school sweetheart since 1998 and spent much of my life as an athlete, active with 2 kids, youth coach, an ambitious entrepreneur and always on the go. MS altered me in what seemed like an instant when I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis in August 2021. I hung on to the grief of who I was for a bit longer than I should have and then eventually pulled myself out of the gallows and shifted into learning how to navigate this life with grace for myself, renewed faith and humor. I made a conscious choice to focus on what I have instead of allowing the diagnosis to steal my joy and living life. Make no mistake, there were and are days where I weep for what was and where my head may not leave the pillow but I start each day with gratitude even when the daily grind of pain and uncertainty looms.
About Me...
For those of you who may not be familiar with the disease, here is the definition straight from the
website of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society:
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"Multiple sclerosis is a disease that impacts the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves, which make up the central nervous system and controls everything we do. The exact cause of MS is unknown, but we do know that something triggers the immune system to attack the CNS. The resulting damage to myelin, the protective layer insulating wire-like nerve fibers, disrupts signals to and from the brain. This interruption of communication signals causes unpredictable symptoms such as numbness, tingling, mood changes, memory problems, pain, fatigue, blindness and/or paralysis. Everyone’s experience with MS is different and these losses may be temporary or long lasting."
My MS means an abundance of daily struggles including pain whether a severe ache or relentless nerve "zingers", extreme fatigue, severe heat intolerance, tremors, muscle spasms and internal buzzing and my favorite (sarcasm absolutely implied) ....bowel and bladder issues which means accidents happen or require that I use a catheter to completely empty my bladder. Even now, telling you what I deal with really can't convey the struggle that I work hard to hide most days... it's not in my nature to feel weak and unstable yet this disease does just that.
My life has always been about transparency and this page won't be any different. It's going to get real, raw and perhaps make some people uncomfortable but this is the life I lead with MS. It's known as the invisible snowflake disease because to most, you can't see the extent nor severity of symptoms happening within. My hope is that my story can help someone navigate their path, advocate for themself and provide some insight, resources, helpful products and laughs along the way. For me, I've learned that living forward is all about embracing every good thing in spite of the challenges, clinging to my faith and relishing in the here and now with my loved ones.